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Post Traumatic Stress Disorder My Story PTSD & the Missing Years.........THE FAMILY Information by the National Centre for War-Related PTSD. In 1975 I was a Corporal Medical Assistant at 101 Field Work Shops. The unit was a Field Force unit, in support of the Brigade at Holsworthy. It was an 'Royal Australian Electrical & Mechanical Engineers' or RAEME unit and I was its 'Medic'. During this time I had my first car, a VW Beetle which used to fly. Despite the freeway not being in the picture in those days the trip to Ingleburn and back every day was done at a high speed. It was about this time in late 1975 early 1976 that I noticed a change in my behaviour, manly while driving and became one of the first 'road ragers'. At this time I did not connect my behaviour and thoughts to anything to do with Vietnam, while struggling to carry on my duties for the unit. Finally after many months I went to a doctor for help, one that I trusted at the hospital. He made an appointment for me to see a Psychiatrist. The Psyc recommended that I move from Field Force as he thought this was part of the problem, as I was still "switched on" like Vietnam, even carrying a weapon. So in early 1977 I was posted out of field force to 2 Base Workshop Battalion at Moorebank. However the move did not work and after much discussion with Helen looked for a job in the local area. I left the Army on Monday afternoon and started a shift work job at a local brickworks on Tuesday afternoon, as a Kiln Burner. Not bad, in 24 hours from serving as a Soldier to someone making bricks? During the early 1980s I went to the Department of Veterans Affairs (DVA) for a check up. This resulted in them agreeing that my situation was a condition from my Vietnam experience and started payment of a small pension. While I knew nothing of PTSD in those days, if you read my medical file, which I got through the "Freedom of Information Act" some years ago, my PTSD was evident as far back as 1976 and again in 1981. During the 1980's I was showing signs of my condition to work mates and family, I thought I was fine and "normal", throwing my self into work, with committee after committee and study at TAFE from 1991 to 1997 and my hobbies of soccer refereeing & administration, photography, reading etc. Those that deal with PTSD say that all this frantic activity is called "avoidance". PTSD & the Missing Years My condition was to lead to me being forced out of my job and another break down in 1997. This occurred when due to a massive cash injection the plant was downsized and I was downsized out of the gate. At the time I was very bitter after all my work via the AWU and plant committees (with other Union delegates of course) that enabled the plant to achive this plan. It was a very difficult year and I was finding it difficult to hang on and function day to day. When I saw the doctor the company sent me to for an exit medical, it was clear he had served in the Australian Defence Forces and I told him about how my life had been for some time. He thought my problems were related to my war service and told me to go and see the Vietnam Veterans. I did this and was sent to see a Psychiatrist. Going for help was difficult and talking about what was going on, but I was then diagnosed with PTSD and finally had an answer to why I was thinking and doing certain things. Then I had to jump thorough the DVA hoops having put an application in to have an upgrade in my disability rating. Having my own doctors helped and I saw others employed by the DVA to check you out, in total I saw more than 9 doctors during my fight for recognistion that my condition was "war caused". Including a number of "tours" in St John of God; a hospital at Richmond. These 'tours' were important in many ways, like helping a Veteran to trust some people again, people that were not Veterans but who wanted to help. There is so much that I owe St John of God Staff, it is difficult to put in to words, without them and others like them I am positive that there would be so many more Vietnam Veterans committing suicide. Eventually a Psychiatrist that the DVA sent me to, agreed I had PTSD and was too ill to work, due to my "war caused disabilities" a report that the DVA finally listened too and granted me TPI status, November 1999. Those few sentences took all of the years 1998 and 1999. During the missing years of 1998 and 1999 I have no idea how I survived. Or how I made it through those many months trying to deal with the thoughts of Vietnam on a day and night basis while dealing with unfeeling and unknowing clerical people from DVA. People who have no idea what it is like to put your life on the line every day for your country. People perhaps who's idea of stress was that the air conditioning was not working? People who absolutely have no idea what a Digger in Vietnam went through. Or even having any empathy for the Veteran's present day health and condition and their way of life. At times filled with thoughts of ending it all, as the department who are supposed to be there to help the ex service people; are in my belief their greatest adversary. To give those who do not know about the Repatriation system in Australia some background to its formation, I quote Prime Minister Billy Hughes from the time of World War One. "You go and fight", he said "and when you come back we will look after your welfare". He added, "We have entered into a bargain with the soldiers and we (the Australian people) must keep it". This contract unique anywhere in the world, these days is formalised by an ACT called the Veteran Entitlement Acts. However these days the DVA staffed by people who have never served their country in any capacity, work very hard to to prevent Veterans getting their entitlements even to the extent of trying to change the law to favor the DVA against the Veteran. Is this the Australian Way? Only for orgainsation such as the Vietnam Veterans Federation and Association bodies, the DVA would get away with their despicable, disgusting and unlawful behavour and many Veterans would not get the help that they are entitled to envisioned and established long ago by Bill Hughes and the Australian Parliament of the day. Is this the Australian Way? To give a small example of my case, it was going nowhere early 1998 and I asked for a Section 31, which is a review. The review was carried out and knocked back. A year later when I used the freedom of information act to check my file I found out the reason why. The file demonstrated that the lady that looked at my file got my case details all wrong, had mixed up dates and my income and then used a bull shit excuse to block my case. When I first got the letter telling me just the review was over and she was not going to do anything, I rang the her, this was on a Monday, even though she had sent the letter the Thursday before she could not remember my name, and was surprised by me being upset? Durr! What she did was to decide my future by suggesting an injury I had was the reason I had left work and could not work, thus I had not left work for "War Caused Disabilities ALONE". This injury was well documented at work, while I continued to work, getting treatment, but it was not the reason I was kicked out of work; or had it stopped me from working in anyway? Now since she was NOT a medical expert, how could she tell my injury was worse than my war caused ones? Could she do it by telepathy because she never spoke to me? Never sent me to a REAL medical person for a check up, never suggested that I should go for a medical check up. No she never did any of that; in fact NEVER told me anything about her reasons for the decision. No all she did was knock me back setting my case back by years by ASSUMING that my injury was stopping me work. Now I ask any fair minded person to asked themselves how can a department which has as its Charter to help and assist Veterans take this sort of action? Allow a clerk with absolute NO medical training or skills make a medical decision by reading paper work and then not tell the Veteran why the decision was made? Is this the Australian way? What occurred to change all that was when my case was refered to a solicitor called Brett Williams, who worked in Sydney and I took him every scrap of paper linked to my case as well as a overview I wrote from my time in Vietnam in 1970 to the present day. From the very first meeting with Brett he filled my with a lot of confidence, one reason was the photo of a relation of his on his office wall, the photo was of a Digger who Brett was obviously very proud of. Here was someone who had a regard for those who had Served Australia and knew what it meant both to the Digger and the family and that I was not just another case. Not that he or his firm would get much, as I needed legal aid to fight the government which Brett assisted me to get any way. I will never forget nearly 12 months later when he rang up to check a date for my case, I got a bit frustrated with Brett but you could tell he was pleased when he said "well I need that date so that the DVA can grant you your T.P.I." A Thank You is such a small word but for the help I got from people like Brett, I like to put that "thank you" into action, for if I get a request for information from an Digger working on his case I will do my upmost to assist in any way I can to ansure that his is a win also. Over the last 12 months I am pleased to say I have played a part in helping two Diggers to gain a TPI and one to move to 100%. PTSD PTSD those few letters that mean so much to Veterans and their families, as it takes over your whole life. Some of the symptoms of PTSD are:- Anxiety: Depression: Sleep Disturbance: Hypersensitivity: Irritablity: Negative Beliefs: Intrusive Thoughts (about the trauma) Avoidance: Social Withdrawal: Hyperarousal: Communication Skills (poor). If you are reading this and feel that these symptoms discribe you, do something about it, there is help these days, all it takes is a phone call or an email. THE FAMILY One part of the Veteran suffering PTSD that seems to be forgotton is the effect on the family. The long suffering wife who in many marrages have put up with the Veteran "being changed after Vietnam". With her trying to deal with it, all in silence not talking to family or friends for many years as the Veteran denies that there is any thing wrong with him. There are many Veterans out there who have the wife to thank for them getting by, as she takes on most of the responsibility of running the house hold and bringing up the children. The PTSD of the Vet also effects the children that continues when the child grows up. This has been recognised in Australia with kids being able to get help from the VVCS for counciling. Another part of suffering from PTSD is not understanding what is going on so you begin to doubt your own sanity. I did, I thought I was going mad, more than once I was called "nuts" by people that around me, I could not blame them. Why would anyone hearing a noise at night load a rifle and 'patrol' around the house checking doors and windows, with out turning the lights on, then in to the back yard again with out lights checking out 'things', then go back to bed and unload the rifle and put the magazine away. Only to do it again when another noise was heard and think this behaviour was 'normal?' Well it was normal to me it was what I was trained for, it was what I knew, I was on my own terms using my skills to protect my family. Thankfully I am now getting help from some understanding doctors and dealing with why Vietnam is still a big part of my life, hence this Homepage is a big part of sorting my life out . To others Vietnam might be old history but to me it is ever present. This is not the end of the story at this stage in 2003 as Australia is involved in the War in Iraq there will be other soldiers who will return damage and I committ I will assist in any way I am able either through the RSL or Vietnam Veteran Organisations. What ever the political feelings about that war those soldiers should not be treated as we were when we came home nor should they have to endure so long before they get help, if they require it. The following is an information sheet put out by the
National Centre for
War-Related PTSD. If
you can relate to these symptoms you should be seeking help from an appropriate
source. To move to the "AWARDS" Page use the SLR on the right. Tto return to the page "Me After The War" use left SRL. To return to ENTRY PAGE click on Will the PIG. Page Checked and updated 17th November 2003
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